Ester Werbach (the midwife that abused me) isn’t listed on Better Birth’s “midwives” page anymore. I haven’t gotten any correspondence from Better Birth so its hard to know where she went or why.
The way I see it (and this is purely speculation) they are probably just distancing themselves from what happened without actually doing anything to rectify it with me. Nothing happened until I publicized the incident, and that is disgusting to me. I should not have to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet about being sexually abused by a midwife for something to be done about this. I shouldn’t have to go to court to get my money back either, but of course I will be put through more by this awful business because the owner seems to completely lack any sense of compassion or ethics.
If ester decided to quit or something else happened then none of this applies, though the timing certainly seems suspect.
The clinic, in my mind, can’t distance themselves from the incident, even with Ester gone. The emails Suzanne Smith sent me, where she excused what happened, where she basically called me a liar or delusional, totally shattered me. I was heart broken. It wasn’t just ester who didn’t care, and I felt like it was proof that the world would not care. I had a newborn crying, a c-section incision healing, a husband at a new job, and she could not extend a crumb of actual condolence to me for what had happened. She was sorry that I felt the way I did, but not sorry that her employee caused it to happen. After a traumatic experience other people can have a powerful impact on how someone heals. Suzanne Smith made this so much worse for me by excusing what happened. Suzanne Smith made it so much worse for me by not telling me ester wasn’t licensed, by having me share my story with DOPL and then having to find out from a supervisor that he couldn’t do anything. Suzanne Smith made it so much worse for me by making excuses for the behavior of ester to the police detective, who then refused to listen to me about what had happened after that. You can never make up for this kind of thing happening, I am forever changed, but she could apologize or TRY to make it up to me. I lost my virginity through sexual abuse, and I lost my first birth experience to it, too. These are things in life that are supposed to be beautiful and loving, and I was robbed of it.